SamosaGate Deepens — Democracy in Peril

In an unprecedented breach of protocol, a state-sanctioned samosa meant for the Chief Minister’s consumption was diverted to a security guard’s digestive system.

The incidence has shaken the very pillars of our democracy.

The accused security personnel have been detained in a special facility equipped with high-tech plumbing that is more advanced than Kejriwal’s toilet seat.

“We will retrieve the evidence, one poop at a time,” a press statement says from the forensics department.

“This is worse than a security breach,” thundered the Additional Chief Secretary in front of TV reporters. “The samosa had been vetted, security-cleared, and thermally optimized for Chief Ministerial consumption.”

The government appears shell-shocked. “How can citizens trust us to run the state when we can’t even protect a samosa?” lamented a senior minister.

Opposition leaders are calling it the “biggest constitutional crisis since independence.”

The detained guard’s stomach contents are now classified under the Official Secrets Act. A team of gastroenterologists has been flown in from AIIMS.

“The pillars of democracy rest on four things — justice, equality, liberty, and the right samosa reaching the right mouth,” declared a constitutional expert on prime time TV.

Another panelist warned, “This government may not survive such a massive breach of trust. Snap polls could be around the corner!”

The Chief Minister has been summoned to Delhi for an emergency meeting with Madam ji. Sources say she was “deeply disturbed” upon hearing that government samosas are being consumed by unauthorized personnel.

Further, Sukhvinder Singh has declared three days of state mourning. “Some wounds never heal,” he said, staring longingly at the samosa-less plate.

The BJP has demanded the government step down. “If they can’t protect a samosa, how will they protect common people?”